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Twas the night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

everyone felt shitty even the mouse.

Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass,

I settled down for a nice piece of ass.

When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter,

I sprung from my place to see what was the matter.

When out on the lawn I saw a big dick,

I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell,

I knew in a moment the fUcker had fell.

He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer

and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.

He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart,

the son of a bItch tore the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight,

"piss on you all and have a hell of a night."

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